Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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