so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
