I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
