MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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