Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
