So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
