there's paper in my vomit.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
