this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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