im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
