Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
