There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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