he puts the penis in happiness.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize