every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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