We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
