Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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