I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This is my gift to your gina
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
