I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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