wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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