her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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