Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
