i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
