Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
