allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
