I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
