What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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