do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i barfeds in our rink
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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