I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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