took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the day after is always just damage control
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
