Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
