on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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