Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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