Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
