From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
