there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need water and some morals
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
