Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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