Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
