Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh god it's open bar.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
