All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
