Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
