meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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