Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
