Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
