Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
