my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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