it's like iHOP with fire
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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