Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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