I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
