He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
