so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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