Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
