Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize