I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
