I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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