Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
