He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
