I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
