I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
