Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
