i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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