Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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