You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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