We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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