She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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