Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
