Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
